Redemption

“Bhai where are you ? – Ammi is asking ” Rida texted her older brother while her two cousins just like her busy on their phones . The t.v was on in the other room where her mother was with her aunt . She could hear the news anchor talking about an explosion somewhere in sindh , then about a celebrity wedding .
Anam was  trying not to laugh while scrolling and Bisma was blushing  texting a friend . ” Friends. Stop texting ” Haider replied , which made her sigh loudly . ‘ He will be back at midnight .

You see some people are born clever . Some become clever some have no other choice but to be and some like Rida still looked the world as if it was some magical place , where you got what you gave. ” oh God – look at this at this girl . She is telling everyone online about a boy who yelled’ Nice body you want to have fun with it ” on the way to school ‘ -did she have to tell everyone in Pakistan about that . Now probably fifty other boys are saying the same to her . Attention whore ” Anam grunted. ” Seriously , girls these days have no shame. All they want is trouble , they get into these relationships themselves . I mean there is a way to things – they dont even care about the respect and name of their family . What will her father think. No shame at all. Characterless girls ” Bisma joined in on the attack .

Rida silently watched them going into a long exchange of other girls like that . They were invited to live in the house because her father thought she needed more girly influences and needed to stay away from her teen brother. Its not easy being a thirteen year old girl . You dont know very much about anything . Everyone else looks down on you girls and boys alike . All things are forbidden, and she wasnt allowed to wear jeans anymore . Baba had the last say in her life and ammi just stared at her in anger all day like she had broken something.
She called Haider again and he somehow picked up and she heard him say ” that girl had the body of a top model ”
She heard this against the sight of her cousins.

Everything

Rain , wind , sand and stars
Blood , words , insults and scars
Covered up with a thin veil
Black hair and red lips
Rotting
No will to fight
Worse than suicide is to die on the inside
Worse than hardship is being unable to enjoy ease
I saw you die
I saw you go
I stayed back

Without a final goodbye
There is no goodbye
That serves a child relief
You wanted me to be good
And maybe I have failed you
Parents often give birth to children
But wait for their dreams to come true
I have not found your dreams
I have done your heart wrong
And in hurting myself
Ive destroyed everything

Lost and found childhood

When you’re a kid
Its fun to play hide and seek
Even if the place is no rain forest
Just three rooms
But you everthing just seems bigger
Full of mystery and possibility
Behind curtains or sofas
Under the table
Or inside the cupboard
Anyplace you can find
Resisting the urge to laugh
Or talk to loud
You loved attention
You loved playing with the pigeons

Falling asleep on the couch while watching cartoons
Waking up to the sun in your tiny  bed
You liked attending parties and having to be dressed up and making new friends with no effort at all
While the grown ups talked in the living room
You ran all over the house and talked sense about absolutely nothing
And the thing you wanted most was attention

From everyone all the time
Then you eventually got older
Maybe you took longer than everyone else – a late blossom
You didnt want to be found anymore
You had to talk business and plot out your sentences paying extreme attention to the other person
You had to let go of your parents hand , even if they say they will always love you
Success will buy you love
No more attention needed
Maybe just from one person