Dealing with plain Jahalat

 

I probably am going to step on some toes, but it’s okay.

So this is probably something that most young people, or children in the family deal with, but isn’t it mind-numbing dealing with the rather oppressive and jahalati stuff that your families are bent on. Like based on your experience , beliefs or education you understand something and you want to move forward and act in a more logical way, at least in your head, but somehow some people always have a personal issue with your personal actions. And they often override your voice and try to demean and degrade the things you like and abuse you mentally like its nothing.

I think in desi families and societies, we sort of leave a blind eye to these incidents, because this kind of treatment mostly comes from people who have some sort of social or financial control over us. Like elders,parents, siblings, distant relatives, further relatives, neighbors, dead relatives, society, fictional characters, other countries- there is no end. And in lots of cases I understand that you have to compromise, and deal with problems.

But dealing with problems does not mean being okay with being publicly crucified. You marrying a guy should not mean having to let his family tell everyone your a dirty woman, or have them spread rumors about you being infertile. But that is abuse thousands of girls face and face with a push, nobody tells them its okay to refuse being treated like a slave in the house of the stranger she married. I mean where is the logic and accountability?

The girls family spends her whole life making them ashamed for existing, and reminding girls that they are a burden, and they keep shoving it down your back that the house of your parents is not your house, but your house is the house where your parents pay for in gold and jahaiz, just to have it kabzaad by her in-laws, and used to wed away her rude sister-in-laws. And how is that it is always these holier than thou children of shaitan that act all holy and proper, that feel like Allah will not let them in heaven if they dont ruin at least the life of three girls. Girls that no one is forcing to take-in, they find the girls themselves, they know what exactly they are marrying into-  Phir kya takleef hai in jahiloon ko. You can’t even call people jahil, because it turns into a ‘not all religious families’, ‘not all modern families’,’not all civilians’,’not all army’. It doesn’t matter. If you are going to do jahil stuff then you should be ready for people to call you what you are.

Adhay say zyada waqt tou maa baap hee aundoon key tarah apnay bachoon ko agg mein pehnk rahay hotain hain. I mean why would you interrupt the education of your olnly daughter, for a random rishta who has no job,no house, no nice family, just because you are scared that she won’t have a secure future. Kyon ka I believe Dosak sirk gunah karnay waloon kay liya nahi , beywakoofoun kay liya hai. These people don’t do their proper research. Trip mein jab yeh jab yeh loog jatay hain, to puray puray sawaal kar kay, idhar udhar say puch bhi ley tain hain, kay shyd koi fraud na hogaye. Apni batioun ko us ghar nahi janay detain, ka pata nahi kiss tarah kay loog houn ghain?

Bus yeh hee woh hoosh jo shadi karnay ka waqt in ka ander maar jati hai.

I get that some times people make mistakes, but the manner in which these mistakes are made, Is stupid, Is insulting. Is absurd. Is pointless. And brings people nothing but ruin and trauma. There is nothing to gain by keeping these systems and cycles going. Let them fall apart, and think about the greater good.

And it’s not even the really big changes like marriages. You can’t really have quirks or odd passions. I like going out and taking pictures, but I have to spread those trips in sections and not do too many, or look like its something I enjoy. It’s stupid. Even by just calling these things stupid, I open myself open to being called modern and bold. Like its a bad thing.I don’t have to think  like everyone else, and I’m not hurting anybody. But you know, you can’t negate anything- because that is of course dis-respectable. There is a lot injustice and abuse parents have done under the name of customs, rights and religion. Koi hasaab hee nahee hai. It’s nothing but a power trap, that we confuse for love and care. It’s nothing but smoke and mirrors.

But how does not react or behave around this jahalat? How does one stand at a sitting and tell people that she doesn’t think dark skin is ugly, and that it’s wrong to treat the daughter-in-laws like shit. The backlash is a hand-wave of disbelief, but it turns into annoyance , and finally into loud violence. Just because you can’t oppose the old,fickle and firm. That’s probably why most of us stay silent.

But we do not have to care about this destruction. We can be everything that we are, and take in a few hits for our dignity. We already know what the odds and prices are. We just have to wait for it to hit. Call out the jahalat when it crosses our path.

 

‘Gilda’ A review of something well done.

Hey world, hope you’re doing well. Today we are going to be looking a classic from the 1940’s that captured many of the traits of that time, Gilda.

 

Now this is just my opinion, but Hollywood has been a disappointment lately. I’m surprised most of their own films are able to win much, since most of them are doing nothing more these days besides whitewashing amazing Japanese franchises. Which obviously leads to massive backlash and flops- which they deserve. Apart from that it looks like they want to make money out of nostalgia factors, but mostly failing, and what else? I’m not particularly happy with the dialogues.

The only movie out of the recent bunch that I really liked,and that actually made a huge impact was ‘Get Out’. It was well-written, had multiple meanings, the acting was good and it gave people something to think about.

But hey, why do that when you could ruin a respected franchise?

But it is visible that audiences are looking for something nostalgic, and for that my solution is actually watching old movies. And you should watch Gilda.

Gilda gets its name from the femme fatale played but the talented Rita Hayworth, who still has feeling for Johnny Farrell, played by Glenn Ford. Only problem is he is the trusted worker to her criminal and closet psycho, aristocratic, probably British husband, who has ties with the German mafia.

Glida, by all standards is a good movie, which is enchantingly beautiful. It’s black and white, and the focus isn’t strictly on the frame, but the atmosphere captures your eye, the use of silhouette and shadows is genius and everyone looks amazing in the closeups. You can tell that the directors knew how to show internal struggle with little actions.

The dialogues and the delivery is also a breath of fresh, they actually have a flow,character and emotion in their voices. Which is something I’ve always respected and enjoyed in old Hollywood movies, every actor has a strong distinct voice, they all have something to add to the film and are articulate to the point that you wish you sounded like them. That only happens when someone is God-gifted good.

I also like that there was an active and interesting humanistic and emotional focus in the film. The conflict could be many things, but I think it revolves mostly around Johnny and Gilda, and how they love each other, but in a hateful way and spend most of their time making the other jealous and miserable. I think this kind of dilemma won’t do well with modern audiences because it does come of as slow and you have to pay attention to the screen. And there is also not a lot of active action, like excessive gunshots, but I think the movie did an excellent job at showing how the mafia works, and how secret societies are controlled.

The characters are charismatic and full of energy, and I noticed that all of them are trying hard not to be eaten by feelings of love or the past. They don’t want to be ruled by their feelings, and in this  Johnny is the most  steadfast. Gilda does try to shut excitement away by closing a door, but she does try to spark up Johnny is a reckless and care free manner. Her older husband Ballin, catches on to the obvious fire between them, but doesn’t show a lot of anger against them. He does warn Gilda, but even he seems to take some enjoyment out of the heat between everyone, by tempting and testing them. He even expresses with his face in the dark that, ‘hate can be an exciting emotion’.

The music also does justice to its time, and on a good note, they don’t have background all the time, which adds more suspense and drama in the atmosphere. But when a song or dance does happen its welcoming. One very iconic song from the movie is, ‘Put the blame on Mame’, which addresses how Johnny blames Gilda for everything in his life, and wants nothing but to punish her. Like that is ever going to solve anything.

To conclude, Gilda is a movie you really should watch and sense. It has all the ticks of a good dramatic and intriguing tale, with a nice,expected ending. It may not reach out to the masses, and not have a processed pop album with blonde wig, and there is no CGI, but surprise it doesn’t need any of that.The movie is a unique thing, with its own personality and style and it is liked because of that by the audience it touches.

Changing it that won’t make it any good, and filmmakers needs to realize that. And should also leave Asian content and roles away from their vulgar hands,and destroy their own content.

” Paisa pays- Truth Talks”, On Kangana Ranaut and Hrithik Roshan’s issue.

Hi everyone. For this blog post we are going to talk about Kangana Ranaut and Hrithik ( not so bright) Roshan. Both of them are pretty successful and talented Indian actors, but we won’t be talking about any films, instead we will be focusing on a legal issue that has been prevalent for the last three years.

Just to give a little background to the issue, Kangana and Hrithik were once in a secret relationship which nobody really knew about in the media, and they broke up without anyone knowing about it just the same. The frenzy started when Kangana Ranaut mentioned an unnamed ‘silly ex‘. That got Hrithik Roshan angry, and he came out twitter exposing himself and afterwards saying that he never was with her.

 

After that Hrithik sent a bunch of notices to her, and later ‘exposed’ her by leaking thousands of emails, that he alleged that Knagana sent to him, over the past years. Well in that time there was a big legal fallout and Hrithik came out losing the hearing, because there was nothing criminal in those emails, and that impostor he continuously he talked was never found.  Kangana came out clean, and I won’t be showing  or talking about the points that defend her truth or showcase her innocence, because she did that all on her own. And the public loves her for that and we can see truth with the points and logic she put forth.

If you want to see how she did so and hear out you can watch her interview that sparked the recent interest in the issue.

For Urdu and Hindi speakers.

And for English speakers.

 

What we will be talking about the dynamics that were prevalent in the whole situation, self-serving nepotism and how money and influence was used to control the narrative, and if we have time, internal guilt.

Apparently Hrithik was so ashamed of being an ex that he went out to dig his own grave. He and his rich father, went around saying things that they would expose Kangana. During that time her family was threatened and harassed. Knagana was put through all kinds of hurdles and she practically mocked, insulted and defamed and suffered several attacks at her character and her career. They got her old ex to lie about her and call her a witch and they would not let her side of the story on magazines. And at the end of the all the Roshan son father duo, had nothing to stand for and lost the case. But that’s not what they got the media to say, they paid away papers to say that nothing actually happened with the case. And after all this time, Kanagana has finally talked about what she faced, and to the whole exposing comment, she strongly says that ‘It’s been a year I am still waiting for him to expose me’.

This has brought out to the public the terrible face to media politics that hurts people who don’t a rich father to run to clean their own mess or save their careers. If the Roshans are truly innocent why did they have to go through that trouble and buy the words of people to attack a self-made actress who did nothing to them. What were they afraid of? If they are so rich that they can buy narratives and if the industry is so tight-knit that nobody had Kangana’s back, instead they teamed up with them and scared her? What were they afraid of ? She did even take Hrithik’s name, what was he so guilty and scared about. It has been week since Kangana spoke her truth and he has remained silent. There is no point in the Nawab to be silent now, he did this to himself. He opened the issue he made this an issue, he did not care about damaging the girls career or well-being. Why now that he has lost that he decides to stay silent and avoid his mess.

They Hrithik and his father should publicly apologize to her and come out and expose everyone else that they paid to help them defame her. It would be good for the community because it would   empower that boy and girl who are being bullied and used by these big names and families. It would allow girls who are being harassed by ex lovers or husbands that they can get through the injustice and stand in their truth, because in our societies it worse for women to be framed or ‘badnaamed’ then to actually have done anything criminal.

I also had a chance to go through the interviews of other actors  and actresses about this case. They should be ashamed of themselves. None of them could express their true feelings, and instead laughed it of and prayed that it clam down. They were all being diplomatic, which is what we can expect from an army of Stepford wives. They are so caught up in not losing a job that they cannot stand up for someone in a clear-cut case of injustice. I mean I can understand but still, there should be a limit. All those people and they have the exact same no answer answer. Something like this is never going to happen to the Kapoor girls and we all know why.

They did not have to do anything, but they could have at least said something. Is it really that hard for the industry works now?

Lastly, Hrithik is a good example of how harsh men can be. This was a man who was a relationship with this woman, loving or not, there was probably some affection or trust there. What was thinking when he went out to destroy her life, what kind of grown man who has money, fame and comes from a powerful family does that? Why did grown man have to stand behind his father and why can’t he go fight someone who is his equal in society?

And this is  common there are lots of women who felt deeply for their lovers, only to have them go out and damage them. These men can do everything except let a woman go and live in peace, it is as if they have to go out an destroy her and turn society against her before they can sleep at night. This is terrible, frightening and it needs to stop.

We salute Kangana Ranaut for her bravery and for standing up to the system and power structure that steps on the lives and feelings of millions of people everyday, and she get the apology she deserves.

‘Capsicum’,on good writing, passing time, my magazine and making it during the night time

Hi everyone,

I hope all of you have been in the best of health and have been living your life to the fullest.If you have not been, well, then maybe it’s time to start, because that is what I intend to do…hopefully.

Any way let’s talk about what has been going on with me. My publisher friends have been down right ignoring me, regarding my two books. I have been requesting and submitting these two stories to them for the whole half year that has past, and the situation has been nothing a deep stab to the chest and hurtful shame. I finally understand how difficult and emotionally scaring the whole thing is for writers who have been dealing with rejection or harsh criticism, not to suggest I haven’t had those times, but it really is a sad eye opener when you have to defend or fight for your creative property. I would go as far as saying it’s like defending your baby. I’m not really sure what I can do about having my work ignored, it is discouraging and I have cried a bit over it. But I hope it just happens quickly, because I really really want ‘Ramiz’, and ‘Nothing Happened‘ to be published this year. It is something that I’ve wanted to quite some time and the desperation just grows bigger and the agitation follows.

Apart from this tragedy, I would be doing a lot more blogging, vlogging, stuffing on YouTube. So do follow me there, my account name is Ranjha’s Girl. I will talking about books and general stuff about me, and eventually I would like to put up videos about food and culture.

And the last update is a surprise and sort of a big deal for me. I will soon have my own magazine, which I own and control. Ta dah!

The magazine thing happened pretty abruptly, I just said I want a magazine, and in barely a little time I got my friend to get the website done and I payed the fee for it and I guess I am my own boss now. I hope. I’ll let you guys in on the name of the magazine soon, but for now I want to talk about why exactly I felt the need for one and the importance of having your own things.

The reason I wanted the magazine is because I felt like my work for other magazines was not being posted quickly or on time. Which was bad because the good majority of my work was interviews, and I always felt bad when people asked about their interviews, but it wasn’t up yet, because a lot of time and asking went into it, so my own magazine won’t give me lame excuses. Also a problem with me working is that, I was not social enough with the other writers in general, so I did not learn many new things or socialize on a level that would satisfy me, thus with my own magazine I would have no option but to talk to people, network and brainstorm. I would initially be uploading content on my own before I let other people in, just so I get comfortable.

I believe that the magazine will allow to curate and create good and unique content, and really push me into the business and field and maybe push me in with some passion and credibility. Because its sounds really different when you say magazine instead of blog, not to say blogs aren’t amazing, but people do have their prejudices.

And lastly it is important to have something is your own  where you can be yourself to the fullest, and not compromise your narrative or articles for the sake of likes or quick fame. This principle might not take you far in life, but it will help you sleep and and give you self respect. So yes, have power, and give other people a space where their work is welcome and respected.

I am oddly excited and I hope you guys and girls stick around for the whole thing, because deep down I believe I can truly impact the culture and change peoples lives in a great away.

That’s all for now I suppose, and thank you for reading this and I really look forward to getting all this work done and being happy.

Stay blessed.

Walking around Liberty

So a couple of days ago I decided to be a little brave, and take my fancy camera out in the market streets.

Since I’m not really a professional at anything, and socially awkward and unable to communicate at times this was big experiment for me. I mean, its one thing to cover events and festivals that happen at my university, but it’s another to actually go out at night on the streets. For that I believe a phone camera is more practical , because a big camera is a little too much. Even the TV people have shifted from traditional cameras to cell phones.

Besides the bigger ones ask for attention in your hands, and I guess people are not really used to random kids going around taking pictures of their shops. But then again all of Pakistani Instagram is full of pictures like that, and a good amount of amount of those pictures focus on the rural areas and country people. Which is a good thing, but there should be more I believe.

As in, I want local awards for those pictures, and something more substantial for those photographers who bend over backwards and travel to far out places and capture the culture. It should be something special for us, and I want their pictures to be in our magazines and in documentaries. Because looks like our favorite kind of photography is wedding photography .

And yes, I understand that some pictures are just more iconic than the others, more loved and captivating then others, like that chaiwala picture, that everyone loved. It’s an amazing picture, and the best thing is that Jiya Ali the girl who took that picture got her due credit. I want all of our other talented kids to get the same, I want there to be love for ourselves, and visibility of out own, in our own. Something we own and something we control.

Okay, either way, I had a lot of fun at liberty, and I found lots of cute Sindhi stuff.And jewelry, and hopefully with more practice I can get better at this.

I even bought a bansara, now I will be the new ranjha.